birthday wish

if i should die
before early morning's light
please know

that i have lived

i will have not left this place
in regret
for i have smelled autumn leaves
and felt the spray of saltwater seas

i have walked in rain
and snow
sat silent in a deer stand and listened
while animals of the night
came to life

i've been to dreamed of places
seen Ireland's rocky face
the Cliffs of Mohr

marveled at a peasant woman
in a rice paddy
and hundreds of waterfalls
pouring down New Zealand's coastal mountains

at home
on winter nights
i've read tales of courage
warmed by the fires of hearth
and valor

i have watched my boys grow into men
into themselves
they'll be fine
when i am gone

i made mistakes
i have struggled to forget
though now i don't regret
how could i have learned
(if i were perfect)
the sweet repose of
grace

i've known love
the joy
and pain of it

laughed loudly in the light
giggled quietly in the dark

i've cried till there were no more tears
saying goodbye to friends
and family
too young to die
why
shoud they have gone
before me?

i have questioned my God
not held back fears
doubts, disappointment

and in my loneliness and rage
i have not found him
wanting



*If you are reading this today, thank you for indulging a more "personal" post. Today is my 59th birthday. It seems rather strange to be staring at 60 from such close range! I have found myself a bit more contemplative today than on most birthdays. However, you must know that i do indeed still feel 35 inside! :) I wrote this poem over 10 years ago. Not a great (or even good) literary work ( a bit too sentimental perhaps), it came to me rather quickly and was from the heart. I made a few small changes to it this morning and wonder what changes i will make in 10 years if i am still walking the planet. For now though, i head most gratefully into another day to see what beauty the Good and Mighty Lord will put into my path. My, what a creative "giver" He is! Again, if you are reading this, thank you. You  are contributing to my life by sharing in it. We are all "so connected". I don't think we begin to realize to what degree. Have a marvelous November 9th.

**As to the picture ....i thought it captured the mystery of November. I love that i get to celebrate my birthday during my favorite month.